Funniest ‘Frandship’ Messages on Facebook

My quest to find these masterpieces of literary genius started when I accidentally stumbled on my “Others” tab on Facebook Messages. And there they were… not one or two but a vast treasure of laughter, ego boost and downright disturbing messages...

They seem to be an 'exclusively for women' phenomenon, but if any man out there has got these then please do send them over. Laughter is best when shared…

1.    The Poet

Love the poem Vijay. I am 'ASSUMING' I use my 'EYES' to 'SEE', what do you use yours for??? For more details refer: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_eye_used_for#slide=2

2.    The Blonde

I don’t know if I want call myself with a name reserved for the quintessential blonde but I am sure you should… “Sushil…u r very Barbie…”

 3.    The Sesquipedalian

Somebody get me a Dictionary quick! Nitin just vomited a Thesaurus!! CHARISMATIC UNWAVERING PHENOMENON MAGNANIMOUS EXUBERANCE PATRONAGE INTOXICATING!!!! STOP!! STOP!!! Actually I am also worried had he got a response he would have positively OD’ed… Opium was it.. ROTFL

4.    The ROMEO

This one is the classic Majnu. I am sorry for breaching your trust and actually MAKING FUN of this… but dude!! Seriously you leave me with no choice here!! What the hell is “SOMETHING BELONG TO ME ETERNALLY”??? “SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT GOING ON IN MY LIFE THAN MYSELF”??? “WHEN I AM OLDER…” Growing Up will do you more good than getting older!! And you kept the best for last “Unable to decide on my Marriage because of THIS” What is ‘THIS’ Vikram?? My profile pictures??? Seriously!!!

 5.    The Creep

I do not know whether to laugh or be concerned about this message… Firstly Shakespeare never wrote that beautiful, poignant line.. You did!! Why share the credit J Second please read para one of: http://safepassagedv.org/education/types-of-sexual-assault.aspx JUMP ON HER????!! Stay away dude!! Stay away…

6.    The Mentalist

I know what you are doing here…  Reducing a girl’s self-confidence by telling her she is not even ‘close to beauty’… and when she is at her lowest with self-doubts and all crazy things low self-respect can do to you… Hitin swoops in, like a man in shining armor telling her that she is DIVINE!!! Mind games dude… only if they ever worked :P

I am mostly left speechless or out-of-breath laughing… but my second thoughts are, how do they even find my Facebook page??

Honestly, no matter what approach they try, 99.9% are bound to fail. It would be interesting to find out what might make for a good “Frandship” message that actually gets the receiver to reply back.

I would suggest a ‘controlled honest’ approach. Do Not write everything that you feel, 100% declarations of love, lust, whatever will not get you anywhere. But an honest indication of your intention and a brief introduction might get it started…

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Why I think Robert Vadra is a very attractive man

In the different walks of life we come across people who make their presence felt in a way that the world sits stunned by their mightiness…to me Shri Robert Vadra is one of this holier than thou personality.

So here’s me, having spent excessive amount of time wondering what Priyanka Gandhi liked in Robert since the day their first pictures emerged in public domain. As I am left still wondering….he is not the typical tall, dark, handsome type but still I decided to try and decipher the secrets behind Robert’s attractiveness.

Fashion Sense: Maybe it’s the Pink Pants. If a man can pull of Pink Pants as gracefully as he can on an election day, he needs to be respected for not just his fashion sense but also for he ability to stand by his decisions in the face of daunting public mockery.

Perfectly Toned Body: First Robert used to just look like Priyanka Gandhi’s bodyguard…now he has the worked very hard and got himself a body also for the job. If ever there was a Indian music video shot for ‘I am sexy and I know it’, Robert would definitely be asked to star in it.

Height: Maybe it’s the height, which woman will not like a man to look up to her even if it’s in the literal sense

Intelligence: It’s not every day that you come across a man with such acute intelligence that he can go from 50 to 300 crores in a span of 3 years and that also in an extremely risky business like real estate. I am sure Arvind Kejriwal was just calling it a scam because he was envious of Robert’s prowess in business

Prominence in the society: Women always find it very attractive when a man can gain easy access to all important places. It is so impressive that Robert is the only individual of India who is enjoying Security Free access to any Airport in the country…wowowow na?

I can go on and on bout Robert and I am sure it was because of his immense virtues that Priyanka Gandhi fell in love with him when they were 13 years old and continued to love him in spite of his ‘short’comings.

Its amazing how without even being a candidate, Robert has single handedly managed to create more buzz for Congress than most other politicians could…what more can a mother in law ask for in her Jamai.

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Joys of being Jobless

We don’t know why this phase is on (something in the air I guess :P) but lot of our friends are currently unemployed.

Don’t start feeling sorry for them, these are the ones who left significantly well-paying jobs for one of these 2 reasons – they were either bored or wanted to just chill and take a break.

So this lot which is NOT suffering a 10 -7 work torture during the weekdays makes it a point to tell everyone how relaxed their life is and most of them have still not run out of monies so we can’t find satisfaction in the fact that atleast we have a monthly income.

I recently fell off the chair laughing when I got a random 3.00PM message on a Wednesday from one of our most favorite jobless friend saying that he got taken to the Matheran Police Station!

Reason: He was caught speeding on a horse J

Well he got reprimanded and managed to get his horse back, but not before he proudly clicked a picture of himself at the police station. He is right now on a horseback vacation is Jordon and I hope he manages to stay away from the Arab police there.

Kapadia and the Horse from Jordon

Then there is another friend whose mother is finding immense joy in her current unemployed state

Reason: She will now have more time (& lesser excuses) to meet eligible boys from matrimonial sites J

Unfortunately none of the arranged marriage meetings are going well but now she has enough fodder to entertain us for a while.

So we have been feeling significantly envious of this lot and wanted everyone else also to feel bad about being employed and hence got Rajvi Merchant (who gave up a perfectly good job which hardly made her work as she was bored) to describe her Monday ( non Monday Blues L ) to us…here’s her take on being jobless on a Monday:

Woke up to the usual 7.30 alarm...

Cribbed and sulked for 5 minutes when I realised I do not have to get up and go anywhere... Alas a Monday when I had nowhere to run and reach... I had quit and I was jobless.. I now have the privilege of being jobless.

I continued lazing in the bed and stretched around to pull out my kindle... Flicked it on and started reading where I had left...

Made mental notes of things to do (Still haven’t stepped out of bed).

My Monday TO DO looked like this:

1. Go to the library, get books exchanged
2. Buffer and watch new episodes of sitcoms: Preferable Castle and Suits (ooh aah over Gabriel Macht and Nathan Fillion)
3. Explore new coffee shops (A genuine reason to step out of house)
4. Go to dad's office and pretend to work (So that no one accuses me of being a Sloth)
5. Find someone to ‘timepass’ with in the evening (My 2 year old nephew with no personal life yet is usually available, if no one else is)

Ofcourse in the middle of it all I will connect with my friends who are still working and gloat about all the upcoming exciting holiday plans I am making.

Phew... Looks like too much work and too little time.

Not sure till when the good times will last but till then…

Snooze time...

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