Things that I would do if I was jobless

Since we are in India let me clarify that the image says "Working it" and not "Working IT (Information Technology) :P

Depends...

You know... 

• Am I jobless without any savings (like right now :P) ???
• Or do I have tonnes of them (my magical figure of 7 crores in the bank)??

So first let's talk about being almost broke and jobless..

• I would (it kills my cool quotient - but all points for honesty) search desperately for a new job!!!! Loser me
• Go back to my hometown to get rid of almost all personal expenses :) Daddy dearest still lovingly looks after me. Also who can pay these killer rents in MUMBAIIIII
• In-between frantic job search  - I'll keep myself busy - writing this blog offcourse 
• Watching TV series on my mom/dad's laptop because - let's face it, my laptop died years ago and I have managed these years with my "official" laptop... Which I am pretty sure the company would take back as soon as it quit
• Get rid of my smartphone and move to Nokia Asha (if they still make those). Because I might need cash... and Olx might look inviting.. And also who will pay for all the data and calls?? Thanks to my job I haven't paid a single phone bill in 7 years!!!
• Make numerous business plans for my own enterprise - might not act on any one of them coz of lack of FUNDING
• Make numerous travel plans too!!! - might not have money to execute them but HEY kill me for being optimistic!!
• Eat home cooked mommy's food!! Undoubtedly the best privilege of being jobless
• Get married - it’s an option! Though not  good one :P For all you know I will get terribly bored and need a change

Now for the fun part... The utopian world of being jobless with 7 crore in the bank!!!
I don't have to think about this one.
I'll spend the rest of my life travelling. One country every month....

I even have a photo list ready on my Pinterest broad. Aptly titled: Travel Bucket List (http://in.pinterest.com/surabhinegi/travel-bucket-list/)

No points for guessing which one I most identify with :)

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My English Speaking Rickshawalla

Everyone who knows me well will attest to the fact that I hate taking ricks from the airport as most of the rickshawallas think you are an outsider and try and take you for a ride (pun intended).

So last time when I landed in Ahmedabad from a super late flight, I warily eyed all the queued up rickshaws trying to pick the least shady looking driver. Its then that this older gentleman approached me and politely asked in ENGLISH "Ma'am can I offer you a ride in my Rickshaw. Dont worry I will take you safely".

This question asked in fluent English did not just make my jaw drop but also got me curious enough to hop onto his rickshaw. Once we started heading to my house, I couldn't control myself and had to ask how come he could speak so well in English?

So he started telling me his life story. He had lost his father when he was 16 years old and as the oldest child he was forced to skip school and start earning by being a rickshaw driver.

He did well for himself and got his younger sisters settled and then married a lovely lady who has been his biggest support over the years (I could sense the deep love when he spoke of his wife). He also has a son to whom he wanted to give good education and pushed him to do his engineering in computer science.

In middle of all this he wanted to finish his education but that was not happening for him so once his son started college, he reached out to one of his Neighbours to help him learn English. The gentleman was kind enough and thought him the basics of grammar and how to do word association. So while his son studied in college he spent 4 years learning how to speak English.

Now his son has started working and he wants to give him couple of years to settle in before he can retire. He is 53 right now and his dream is to take his wife abroad for a long vacation as he feels that thanks to his good english, he can now take care of her while traveling.

By the time the story got over we had reached my place. But the journey ended with me getting an open invitation to come to his house for a meal and meet his family.

PS: I think he fleeced me for an extra 100 bucks, but what the hell his English and story were worth it.

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'FILLING' AA JAAYEGI! with Aloo Baba

Few kilometers away from Pushkar, on a random road, resides Aloo Baba. The sadhu who eats only aloos and nothing else…he came highly recommended by our hotel manager Narendra Singh, who in his style said “sir ek baar Aloo Baba ko dekh ke aao…filling aa jaayegi”…I tried correcting him once…but then Narendra continued selling many other spots around Pushkar that have a lot of ‘fillings’. So I decided to shut up.

Anyways…after gazing at bored camels and hungry horses for more than 2 days Aloo Baba sounded tempting. So without thinking much, we hired a scooter (that won't pick up pace) and a motorcycle (that won't ride straight), and the four of us went ahead to meet to our god man.

Riding in the middle of Aravalis, half eaten by stone companies and half spared for later, we reached a white regular looking temple that had a strange and big Aloo Baba graffiti on top!...and I thought…oh god it’s a set up!...aloo baba is a gimmick to keep bored tourists interested in pushkar…he will be another fraud, who is doing this for money and not for finding the greater truth and shit like that…I feel like kicking narendra’s ‘fillings’...in fact i’m gonna… before my cynical thoughts could get any more violent, Richa interrupted with a shriek… “oh Aaloo baba!”…I looked at what she was looking at and found a frail, not-so-old man with long hair staring back at us.

He looked a little shocked. Obviously who wouldn't after hearing his name in such a shriek voice….but still “aao aao” he said welcomingly. He opened the gates and walked back inside the temple complex. Within seconds he laid out a mat for us to sit on and asked us to go in the kitchen and prepare tea if we felt like “apna hi kitchen hain…chai peene ka man hain toh bana lo”.

‘Kitchen!’ this word means a lot to Shivali, my wife, she just loves 'the kitchen', in whatever travels we have done so far, she has been in almost every kitchen that would not throw her out…it wouldn't matter if it is a hotel or a restaurant or a camp or a homestay and now a-feather-in-her-cap!...a temple too!....so straight she went into the kitchen to make tea…

But what happened after the tea came…was a wonderful experience that I cannot write about…because we just smoked {not marijuana (but you can if you carry it along)} and sipped and spoke with Aloo Baba, and so would you when you go….cause he is a chiller and in Narendar's words 'filling aa jaayegi'. 

Jai ho Aloo Baba!

The main entrance to the temple

Aloo Baba - Mr. Sweet love himself

Nowhere else would you see Kaali like this in a temple

This is the actual Hanuman mandir where devotees pray and do pooja

Richa & Shivali making the 'tea' that started it all

Rajat 'filling' it with Aloo Baba

Richa & Shivali 'filling' it on the top of the temple

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What i loved bout California

I always think that if I was born with a silver spoon and did not have to work to earn a living, I  would spend my life wander lusting. Since the day the travel bug bit me, I have become its  lifelong victim.

 

In May I was absconding from everything urgent and important at work and took off with the entire family to meet up with my most adorable nephew in California.

We were in California for 20 days and here is the list of my top 10 favorite things bout that state. Most of which can be done with adorable lill babies tagging along.

 

1. Shopping - lets get this out of the way before the tourist list begins. Sis managed to take us on day trips to outlet malls like Livermore and Great Mall around San Francisco and I shopped so much (17 kgs and USD 1500 worth to be precise) that I am still wearing new clothes to office two week later. And even if u cant manage to go to outlets malls, there is a Ross in every nook and corner. Post the US trip, 'clearance' is my new favorite word.

 

2. Cherry picking in Brentwood - we live in a agricultural country but I have never picked and eaten a fruit directly from a farm. In California there is a area called Brentwood where there are 'you pick' farms. They have farms with the most amazing cherries, strawberries, apricots and mulberries. They let you walk unsupervised in the farms and you can pick and eat whatever you like, just have to pay for whatever additional you want to buy. The gujjus that we are, we hogged and hogged and hogged and then bought a lot also. They are not open through the year so better to call and go.

 

3. Farmer's market at San Francisco downtown - Every Tuesday and Thursday (the Tuesday one is way better) outside the ferry building in SFO downtown there's a farmer's market with the yummiest line up of fruits, veggies and meals. All fresh out of the farms and freely available for tastings. Inside the ferry building we came across some superb food joints. My suggestion is to take a cappuccino from Blue Bottle coffee (way better than Starbucks) and walk to the rear of the building where you can sit and watch all the yuppie crowd while enjoying your coffee right by the ocean.

 

4. Hollywood walk of fame - I know its a clichéd touristy thing, but its a lot of fun to try and find the stars especially if you are looking for a celebrity whose star is not right outside the Kodak theatre. I was looking for Walt Disney and it was so much fun to find Charlie Chaplin and Sidney Sheldon along the way. Also its a perfect stage for lots of fun pictures. I also enjoyed the Kodak theatre tour and felt a little like a diva being on the Oscars stage.

 

5. The Warner Bros Studios - If your favorite pastime is watching big bang theory reruns then the VIP tour of the warner brother studios would feel like the most exciting thing to do in LA. We got to sit on the Friends couch, see real costumes from Harry Potter and go on the sets of big bang theory, two and half men and 2 broke  girls. The current seasons were over so no celebs :( but it was fun to realize that the staircase to Sheldon and Leonard's apartment is just one set where they keep changing props to show diff floors. Some interesting trivia we got to know was like....

• Clint Eastwood likes to be called Mr. Eastwood and he is the guy everyone is most scared of
• On the first day of friends shoot they needed someone to make coffee and one of the production guy volunteered who is known to us as Gunther. He had dyed his hair blonde just the day before and then for next 10 years he remained blonde.  He was just at the right place at the right time and makes 500,000 every year till date cause of friends reruns.
• Charlie Sheen is not welcome any of the stages where Chuck Lorre has a permanent parking and trust me that's more than half the studio.

6. Old town at San Diego - Ever thought what time travel would be like??? Just go to old town at San Diego and you will feel like you are transported back by 100 years into an old Mexican town. Its amazing how well preserved the place is and you will find shops selling vintage Mexican trinkets and even more wonderful is the staff that is dressed just like the old times. And then there was the food...I thought Chipotle was good Mexican till I landed up at Casa De Reyes, which blew us away.

 

7. Carmel-by-the-Sea - Everyone kept telling me about the 17 mile drive and I thought it was superb and would have made my list if we had not finished the drive and stopped for a coffee at Carmel. It's almost like stepping into a fairytale land (and I saying this after having been to Disneyland). Small pretty houses with loads of art galleries and quaint cafes, the best word to describe this place would be enchanting. It is also the most dog friendly place I have ever been to. In fact we even came across an art gallery where the owner that filled the place with only painting of his dog.

 

8. $5 blackjack table at New York, New York in Vegas - Most of us Indians keep converting dollars into rupees when we travel and its so difficult to gamble our hard earned money away. With that conversion ratio in mind, I didn't want to play pure luck games and hence opted for blackjack where you can calculate the odds. After casino hopping through Vegas, it was only at New York, New York that we found the $5 blackjack table and that is where spent all my gambling time. 2 days of Vegas and loss of $60 is not bad in my book.

 

9. Ghiradelli Hot Fudge Sundae - I am not a big fan of chocolate but the world famous (that's what its called on the menu) Ghiradelli Hot Fudge Sundae is in a league of its own. I think its just wrong to go to San Francisco and not pay homage to your taste buds at Ghiradelli square. In fact I liked the Sundae a tad more than the Golden Gate bridge also

 

10. Madame Tussauds in LA - I think this only makes the list because it was a family trip with a kickass camera. It was super fun taking crazy pictures in all the illicit poses with the celeb statues. Was surprised how much even my mom enjoyed the place, even though she did not recognize anyone except Obama.

 

That's the my top 10 favorites but there were so may amazing things and places that we visited. The Venice Canals in LA, Boudin's sourdough bread bowl soup at Pier 39, La Jolla Beach at San Diego, Napa Valley, Golden Gate and Disneyland were also in my favorite list. Wonderful trip and thanks to sis and bro-in-law being locals, we got to do a lot of things that tourists will find hard to choose from the lonely planet.

 

But honestly, the best thing bout the US trip was the time I got to spend with Rivaan. Totally been missing nan nan since I have been back :(

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I went to Vegas with my Mommy

Vegas Sightseeing with Mommy, Sis and Sis-inlaw

Since I have come back from my long long long holiday, the first question everyone ends up asking is "how was ur chutti" and to most people I give a monosyllabic reply that it was wonderful. Then I get pestered for more details where I just end the conversation by saying –hmmm…errr I went to Vegas with Mommy.

Almost everyone who knows me, knows that my mommy is an involuntarily funny slightly conservative gujju aunty who frowns vigorously at alcohol, men and bikinis (Don't get me wrong, at times she is quite cool). So thought of putting down the ways of “How to be extremely pious in Sincity J”

I had been given this brilliant advice to go and play at the casino floor in Bellagio, cause if you ask for Sparkling wine they serve Moet!!!!

Forget Moet, with mommy around all you want to do is go and see the musical fountains outside Bellagio (which were pretty but………….)

If you are lucky and find a seat right next to a super-hot guy with a big chip stake on those rare $5 blackjack tables, do not start a conversation or blush at his compliments as Mommy will zero in on that and come running to drag you from that table to a solo player slot machine where you will never get lucky (Pun intended).

Do not order any alcohol at your casino table and ensure that your neighbours have also kept their glasses away from you as in case Mommy decides to pay the table a visit, she will give you suspicious looks and interrogate you at the table itself.

Also be ready to hear the motherly judgemental comments on skimpy wardrobe. Cause every time Mommy sees girls on road in bikinis, the first thought that pops into her head is how do parents allow their children to step out in such little clothes.

Do not expect to go partying in Vegas as it will bring out the Mommy frown. We crossed the Beach Club at Wynn where David Guetta was playing and there were 100s of shirtless six pack abs standing in the queue. All I could manage was a quick glance and bucketful of regret at the lost opportunity.

Vegas has all the fancy chefs and you may go and eat at all fancy places owned by Bobby Bay or Wolfgang Puck or Buddy Valastro (all awesome food) but at the end you will go looking for an Indian restaurant as the desi food craving would get overpowering. But on this one I just don’t hold Mommy responsible; we all had the desi cravings. Also let me add here that the gujju thepla myth is true, even we started our roadtrip with a significantly large number of theplas.

Thank god Mommy has been kept away from social media all this time or I would be getting an earful bout this post at this very moment.

Anyway I think some time in the near future, I will go back to Vegas just to SIN.

@ Fake Canals outside Venetian in Vegas

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Joys of being Jobless

We don’t know why this phase is on (something in the air I guess :P) but lot of our friends are currently unemployed.

Don’t start feeling sorry for them, these are the ones who left significantly well-paying jobs for one of these 2 reasons – they were either bored or wanted to just chill and take a break.

So this lot which is NOT suffering a 10 -7 work torture during the weekdays makes it a point to tell everyone how relaxed their life is and most of them have still not run out of monies so we can’t find satisfaction in the fact that atleast we have a monthly income.

I recently fell off the chair laughing when I got a random 3.00PM message on a Wednesday from one of our most favorite jobless friend saying that he got taken to the Matheran Police Station!

Reason: He was caught speeding on a horse J

Well he got reprimanded and managed to get his horse back, but not before he proudly clicked a picture of himself at the police station. He is right now on a horseback vacation is Jordon and I hope he manages to stay away from the Arab police there.

Kapadia and the Horse from Jordon

Then there is another friend whose mother is finding immense joy in her current unemployed state

Reason: She will now have more time (& lesser excuses) to meet eligible boys from matrimonial sites J

Unfortunately none of the arranged marriage meetings are going well but now she has enough fodder to entertain us for a while.

So we have been feeling significantly envious of this lot and wanted everyone else also to feel bad about being employed and hence got Rajvi Merchant (who gave up a perfectly good job which hardly made her work as she was bored) to describe her Monday ( non Monday Blues L ) to us…here’s her take on being jobless on a Monday:

Woke up to the usual 7.30 alarm...

Cribbed and sulked for 5 minutes when I realised I do not have to get up and go anywhere... Alas a Monday when I had nowhere to run and reach... I had quit and I was jobless.. I now have the privilege of being jobless.

I continued lazing in the bed and stretched around to pull out my kindle... Flicked it on and started reading where I had left...

Made mental notes of things to do (Still haven’t stepped out of bed).

My Monday TO DO looked like this:

1. Go to the library, get books exchanged
2. Buffer and watch new episodes of sitcoms: Preferable Castle and Suits (ooh aah over Gabriel Macht and Nathan Fillion)
3. Explore new coffee shops (A genuine reason to step out of house)
4. Go to dad's office and pretend to work (So that no one accuses me of being a Sloth)
5. Find someone to ‘timepass’ with in the evening (My 2 year old nephew with no personal life yet is usually available, if no one else is)

Ofcourse in the middle of it all I will connect with my friends who are still working and gloat about all the upcoming exciting holiday plans I am making.

Phew... Looks like too much work and too little time.

Not sure till when the good times will last but till then…

Snooze time...

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Life in a Mumbai Local

Please Note: This post was written by yours truly while sitting in a second class ladies compartment in a Mumbai Local.

There was a time when I used to wake up at 9.00 am with the help of an alarm...get dressed and hop into my car and leave home by 10.00 am and be on my desk by 10.15 am...those were golden days of my life where i had not stepped on a Mumbai local train for years.

Then tides turned and my life went down the drain as I got stuck with travelling from Borivali to Cuffe Parade  for work (for ppl who don't know Mumbai that's literally two ends of a very very large city).

And my misery expounds thousand times everyday when my alarm rings at 7.00 am and then I run to catch 8.22 am local to Churchgate. In the last one and half year that i have been suffering this misery I have learnt the art of jumping in before the train stops to grab a seat, pushing and elbowing people out of way and immunizing myself to sweat and smell that cloud the space (Ewww). 

So while being very gratefully seated on a bench of 3 which is stuffed with 4 people...this is how I profile people:

Lets start with the leech uncles. On those rare occasions where I have had to get into a men's compartment, I have encounter the leechad uncles whose eyes get stuck below your neck and they don't miss the opportunity to grab your ass unnoticed by others if u cross them.

Then there are the screechy auntys. If they bump into you in any way they start screaming. Honestly they have no issues with making a scene and keep forgetting that they are in a local train and not personal limousine.

Next are the students. You know its exam time when these variety have their noses stuck in their books, otherwise they are the ones who sound the most worldly wise, usually move in herds and can incessantly chat and giggle.

Actually chatting is a little bigger with the dhokla auntys. They usually carry the breakfast boxes and share food with each other. This is also the sly lot which reserves seats for their group and refuse to budge from their appointed seats.

The male counterpart of dhokla auntys are the oversmart uncles. They are the stock market afficandos who have an opinion on everything. These days politics and inside news on Modi and Rahul Gandhi are their favorite topics. They are just loud enough for everyone to hear their opinions.

Ofcourse then there are the Marketeers. All MLM companies like Oriflame and Avon find their retail counters in Mumbai locals where the latest product catalogs are enthusiastically passed along with promise of next day deliveries.

Last but not the least are the singers. These are the bathroom singers who hear asha bhosle's voice from their own throats. They typically start with bhajans and then graduate to baho mein chale aayo.

In the middle of these insane crowds, pungent smells and mind numbing journeys, these are the people I recognize and feel the affinity of existing in Mumbai with....

PS: If anyone wants a free uber ride then use my referral code po5ym

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The untold story of my wanderlust

I watched Queen recently…lovely movie and as 'single girl travelling the world with a backpack' is totally my thing, lot of people had messaged to tell me that the movie reminded them of me.

Well i am also a Queen in my own head and except making gol gappas to prove my Indianness, I have pretty much have had all the experiences that Kangana’s character has in the movie…but wanted to jot down a real picture of what happens on a soul searching trip

Lets start with the basics…wen I take off on a trip, my communication with family is limited to messages which say ‘ I have reached safely’ and ‘ok I am taking the return flight now and someone needs to pick me up from the airport’. Any communication beyond this classifies as emergency and worries my mom.

In Europe, the chances are that you would visit way more churches than parties. At some point after the 10^th church you can paint your own version of mother and child.

Also wen a homeless guy follows you and u feel scared, don’t fight, give up the bag but like a good gujju negotiate to keep the passport and cab fare. Or like me find a french man walking his dog and get him to drop u to ur hotel.

If you meet anyone Indian on the trip, trust me 80% probability is that they would be gujjus and you would be offered theplas. All they will do is give me a 'homely' feeling which is not a good thing.

If you take a mixed room at a Hostel, there is 99% probability that no one hot would be staying there and even if they are gorgeous, the shared bathroom will make you look at all the hot men in your room in a very different and extremely poor light. Also all the guys who stay in hostels are on a shoestring budget and are not going to buy you drinks.

If you manage to get on a bar to dance, trust me you will get your Italian hottie there itself and he is going to come up to you say ‘beautiful’ and will expect you to make out with him on the basis of that singular uttered word. Depending on his hotness levels we have to decide to be or not to be…but whatever happens, we are not going to remember anything next day thanks to a horrible hangover.

Lastly avoid swiping credit cards whose alerts go to your parents as forget sex shops, any basic shopping alerts also will lead to a through questioning on all ur spends wen u r back.

All these thoughts aside, after Queen i cant wait to take off to Paris and Amsterdam

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