Life in a Mumbai Local

Please Note: This post was written by yours truly while sitting in a second class ladies compartment in a Mumbai Local.

There was a time when I used to wake up at 9.00 am with the help of an alarm...get dressed and hop into my car and leave home by 10.00 am and be on my desk by 10.15 am...those were golden days of my life where i had not stepped on a Mumbai local train for years.

Then tides turned and my life went down the drain as I got stuck with travelling from Borivali to Cuffe Parade  for work (for ppl who don't know Mumbai that's literally two ends of a very very large city).

And my misery expounds thousand times everyday when my alarm rings at 7.00 am and then I run to catch 8.22 am local to Churchgate. In the last one and half year that i have been suffering this misery I have learnt the art of jumping in before the train stops to grab a seat, pushing and elbowing people out of way and immunizing myself to sweat and smell that cloud the space (Ewww). 

So while being very gratefully seated on a bench of 3 which is stuffed with 4 people...this is how I profile people:

Lets start with the leech uncles. On those rare occasions where I have had to get into a men's compartment, I have encounter the leechad uncles whose eyes get stuck below your neck and they don't miss the opportunity to grab your ass unnoticed by others if u cross them.

Then there are the screechy auntys. If they bump into you in any way they start screaming. Honestly they have no issues with making a scene and keep forgetting that they are in a local train and not personal limousine.

Next are the students. You know its exam time when these variety have their noses stuck in their books, otherwise they are the ones who sound the most worldly wise, usually move in herds and can incessantly chat and giggle.

Actually chatting is a little bigger with the dhokla auntys. They usually carry the breakfast boxes and share food with each other. This is also the sly lot which reserves seats for their group and refuse to budge from their appointed seats.

The male counterpart of dhokla auntys are the oversmart uncles. They are the stock market afficandos who have an opinion on everything. These days politics and inside news on Modi and Rahul Gandhi are their favorite topics. They are just loud enough for everyone to hear their opinions.

Ofcourse then there are the Marketeers. All MLM companies like Oriflame and Avon find their retail counters in Mumbai locals where the latest product catalogs are enthusiastically passed along with promise of next day deliveries.

Last but not the least are the singers. These are the bathroom singers who hear asha bhosle's voice from their own throats. They typically start with bhajans and then graduate to baho mein chale aayo.

In the middle of these insane crowds, pungent smells and mind numbing journeys, these are the people I recognize and feel the affinity of existing in Mumbai with....

PS: If anyone wants a free uber ride then use my referral code po5ym