For Men: First Impressions @ First Dates

 

 

I was once told that men look for beauty and women look for substance when they go on a first date with someone new. Must be true loooooong back but now we live in a shallow shallow world and even women go by appearances - atleast where the first impressions are concerned.

 

He/She can be the most interesting person you come across but the sad reality is that if the person comes in shabby packaging then you will never reach the 'getting to know each other better' part. At some point in the future I would like to test this theory extensively though a social experiment but for now lets be superficial :P

 

Surabhi just came back from Milan and couldn’t stop ooh-aahing about this superlatively hot European colleague she saw at the Fashion Week. Though she put a disclaimer to the gushing by saying that thank god she did not speak to him or would have been disappointed - as she suspected that he was not that interesting. But it was his appearance that is still bringing smiles to her face.

 

So we decided to put down a short 5 point guide for men on how they can improve the appearances on the first date…especially if it is one of those blind dates that are an output of kindhearted friends or relatives or matrimonial sites.

 

1.       Don’t wear Jewelry – It’s a women’s arsenal and let her have it. Big chunky gold chains and rings might impress ammas looking for rich grooms for their daughters but they only put off the younger women. I believe that the only accessory a woman notices on a first date and feels impressed with is the right watch. Pull out your best branded watch and let it do the talking.

 

2.       Sun does not equal Sunglasses – Women like to look into your eyes and try and figure out what you are thinking. Their conclusions might be all wrong but they still like looking at your face without the distraction of sunglasses perched on your nose or head. In case you didn’t know, only women look good using sunglasses as hair bands. The only way you can get away with sunglasses on a date is that it's a beach or you are Salman Khan.

 

3.       The right car – A friend went out on a date with a guy who owned multiple cars and some of them were seriously fancy, but he came to meet her in an Innova which stinked a little. She would have let it pass but he also was wearing shorts with socks rolled up halfway to his knees. You can’t fault a woman for wanting to be picked up in a nice car and in case you don’t have one, there is always Uber.

 

4.    Don't get Flowers - yes we know we are debunking the usual 'fail safe' mechanism that men turn to. But please Flowers!!! Everyone knows that you didn't have enough time to give it a thought, and you put all women in one big cliché - hence flowers. Do some research and figure something more personal but not intrusive. We are not suggesting Lingerie but something on the lines of a good Book.

5.    Lets not get too casual or too formal - I am going with the assumption that you want to go all out and impress a woman on the first date and hence you will pick a nice place to take her out - and why shouldn't you... it's probably your only shot with her :) It is also safe to assume that she will put a lot of thought in what to wear especially as you are taking her to a nice place. So don't land up at the date in your shorts, tee and flip flops. It just gives the impression that you don't want to make the effort. On the flip side, do not land up at the date in your best suit afterall its not your wedding reception and you don't want to look like a 'gift wrap'. I would suggest pick a nice pair of fitted denims and club it with a smart tee and a casual blazer. That outfit will pass all the tests and not make you feel out of place anywhere.
 

If all else fails - my humble suggestion is to stick to classics. An indigo denim and white shirt  is my all time favorite date wardrobe suggestion for the guys - (switch to black if you are - let's just say - not in your best shape). This combination never fails to make you look effortlessly fashionable. I have done enough dipsticks and can confidently say that its a favorite look with all single women. 

 

Well after the appearances and superficiality of the date is evaluated and appreciated, the real tests begin where we try to figure interest levels, sense of humor, chivalry, compatibility, ability to have a nice conversation etc etc etc....some even say that the list is never ending and I just want to add 'on both sides' to it. 

 

 

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Asked out?? – List of things NOT to do

It took me a while to figure out what would interest me as the next blog post topic. You know that feeling when on a usual day you will have like a thousand post ideas, all making for awesome and fun read but when you actually come down to it - You reject them all...
So that's what happened to me... But then this one came up unexpectedly... And as the Nth time I goofed up… I realized if I cannot learn from my mistakes then maybe others could.
For people who know me, it’s not a shocker when I say that I have a history of mismanaging the few times I have been asked out so far. Hence I have compiled a list of Don'ts (which is my forte), and hope to someday compile a list of do’s ....

	1.     Don’t play Hide and Seek: I did this in Post Grad College! Abandoned my hostel room for a month trying to hide from a friend who happened to like me. There is no redemption. It’s undoubtedly the most childish thing anyone can do. But if you are as averse to confrontation and giving bad news as me, this is probably the most instinctive reaction. Please be warned it doesn't end well and kills all chances of the guy having any respect for you afterwards :)
	2.     Never say ‘Yes’ when you mean to say ‘No’: You have been single for too long and someone who you enjoy spending time with asks you out. You don’t think it’s the right move, but then think – “What the hell, let’s give it a shot! It might just work”… It does work… but IN MOVIES!!! You will not earn any brownie points by breaking his heart slowly. Please grow a spine and pull the bandage off as quickly as possible.
	3.     Never weedle a proposal: Let him take his own sweet time. Its Darwin’s Survival of the fittest, the ones most intent will finally own up. Hastening the process never does anyone any good. As a perpetual attention seeker, and a very curious one at that, I just cannot wait. What’s worse, I cannot wait to hear it even when I know that my answer is going to be NO!! My only explanation: It feels great to actually hear those words from a man. But my most discerning readers, YOU should not egg him on just for your victory lap, proving yourself right and subconsciously keeping a score.
	4.     Do not get your best friend to say no on your behalf: Absolutely disrespectful and cowardly, but probably also the easiest. I always want to play Good cop, and I am blessed with these sweethearts who are easily bullied or emotionally blackmailed to sometimes do my dirty work. Against their better judgment, I may add. I have been on a date where I forced my friend to tag along as the - ‘walking talking rejection’.  She tried her best to be subtle, while casually suggesting how she will be surprised if this will ever work out. The man got the hint, but was also pissed!
	5.     Never accept and forget about it in a week: Okay, in my defense I never did this one. But have atleast one friend guilty of pulling this sort of shenanigan. You don’t need an explanation on why this sort of thing is bad.. Very bad… Though it can happen when you are in two minds and in-between too many people asking you out... Problem of plenty J
	6.     Never accept gifts if you have to say “No”: Another one of my ‘not so proud’ moments... In my defense I love chocolates! And was thinking, they are edible things and will get spoilt if I don’t eat them, right?? I should know weaknesses can be manipulated. Well unfortunately my sweet tooth is well advertised in college, work place, at home, everywhere… Moral of the story do not be the quintessential Eve, and reason that it’s only a small gift. Resist the temptation because it makes you owe him one...

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