Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Tuesday, 9 December 2014

Kiss and let kiss


Have been planning to write this since I was in my early 20's as could never understand what the outrage was all about.

I have no idea when or why kissing in public became an offense. Maybe at some point it was made a criminal act to help with population control as the authorities must have thought that if people kiss in public next logical step will be them tearing of  their clothes and start making out in public with no self control. Nobody tried to figure out how the countries which are not as modest as us keep their lusty hormones on check in public.

I mean if some poor firangi decided the have a destination wedding in India with the priest saying you may kiss the bride. The next thing would be apna havaldar walking up the aisle and asking for fine or threatening to put the newly weds in jail.

I live in a city like Mumbai where people dont have enough space to breathe and if these space starved couples find sea link to be a good backdrop to express their love...what's the harm. Dont most us have touristy public kiss selfies from the effiel tower. What's acceptable in Paris should not be a crime in india.

In fact I think all moms who stress about their children getting married should lobby to allow public kissing. Simple logic is that their errant and unwilling to settle down kids will start feeling left out in all the PDA and try to sort their love lives out. I can personally vouch on the effectiveness of this point.

Honestly today we as a society are acknowledging the third gender and fighting for gay rights. Compared to that kissing in public is a old story and I say let the poor couples be.

Kiss and let Kiss!!!!!
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Thursday, 3 July 2014

For Men: First Impressions @ First Dates

 
 
I was once told that men look for beauty and women look for substance when they go on a first date with someone new. Must be true loooooong back but now we live in a shallow shallow world and even women go by appearances - atleast where the first impressions are concerned.
 
He/She can be the most interesting person you come across but the sad reality is that if the person comes in shabby packaging then you will never reach the 'getting to know each other better' part. At some point in the future I would like to test this theory extensively though a social experiment but for now lets be superficial :P
 
Surabhi just came back from Milan and couldn’t stop ooh-aahing about this superlatively hot European colleague she saw at the Fashion Week. Though she put a disclaimer to the gushing by saying that thank god she did not speak to him or would have been disappointed - as she suspected that he was not that interesting. But it was his appearance that is still bringing smiles to her face.
 
So we decided to put down a short 5 point guide for men on how they can improve the appearances on the first date…especially if it is one of those blind dates that are an output of kindhearted friends or relatives or matrimonial sites.
 
1.       Don’t wear Jewelry – It’s a women’s arsenal and let her have it. Big chunky gold chains and rings might impress ammas looking for rich grooms for their daughters but they only put off the younger women. I believe that the only accessory a woman notices on a first date and feels impressed with is the right watch. Pull out your best branded watch and let it do the talking.
 
2.       Sun does not equal Sunglasses – Women like to look into your eyes and try and figure out what you are thinking. Their conclusions might be all wrong but they still like looking at your face without the distraction of sunglasses perched on your nose or head. In case you didn’t know, only women look good using sunglasses as hair bands. The only way you can get away with sunglasses on a date is that it's a beach or you are Salman Khan.
 
3.       The right car – A friend went out on a date with a guy who owned multiple cars and some of them were seriously fancy, but he came to meet her in an Innova which stinked a little. She would have let it pass but he also was wearing shorts with socks rolled up halfway to his knees. You can’t fault a woman for wanting to be picked up in a nice car and in case you don’t have one, there is always Uber.
 
4.    Don't get Flowers - yes we know we are debunking the usual 'fail safe' mechanism that men turn to. But please Flowers!!! Everyone knows that you didn't have enough time to give it a thought, and you put all women in one big cliché - hence flowers. Do some research and figure something more personal but not intrusive. We are not suggesting Lingerie but something on the lines of a good Book.

5.    Lets not get too casual or too formal - I am going with the assumption that you want to go all out and impress a woman on the first date and hence you will pick a nice place to take her out - and why shouldn't you... it's probably your only shot with her :) It is also safe to assume that she will put a lot of thought in what to wear especially as you are taking her to a nice place. So don't land up at the date in your shorts, tee and flip flops. It just gives the impression that you don't want to make the effort. On the flip side, do not land up at the date in your best suit afterall its not your wedding reception and you don't want to look like a 'gift wrap'. I would suggest pick a nice pair of fitted denims and club it with a smart tee and a casual blazer. That outfit will pass all the tests and not make you feel out of place anywhere.
 
If all else fails - my humble suggestion is to stick to classics. An indigo denim and white shirt  is my all time favorite date wardrobe suggestion for the guys - (switch to black if you are - let's just say - not in your best shape). This combination never fails to make you look effortlessly fashionable. I have done enough dipsticks and can confidently say that its a favorite look with all single women. 
 
Well after the appearances and superficiality of the date is evaluated and appreciated, the real tests begin where we try to figure interest levels, sense of humor, chivalry, compatibility, ability to have a nice conversation etc etc etc....some even say that the list is never ending and I just want to add 'on both sides' to it. 
 
 
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Tuesday, 6 May 2014

Why I think Robert Vadra is a very attractive man

In the different walks of life we come across people who make their presence felt in a way that the world sits stunned by their mightiness…to me Shri Robert Vadra is one of this holier than thou personality.

So here’s me, having spent excessive amount of time wondering what Priyanka Gandhi liked in Robert since the day their first pictures emerged in public domain. As I am left still wondering….he is not the typical tall, dark, handsome type but still I decided to try and decipher the secrets behind Robert’s attractiveness.

Fashion Sense: Maybe it’s the Pink Pants. If a man can pull of Pink Pants as gracefully as he can on an election day, he needs to be respected for not just his fashion sense but also for he ability to stand by his decisions in the face of daunting public mockery.



Perfectly Toned Body: First Robert used to just look like Priyanka Gandhi’s bodyguard…now he has the worked very hard and got himself a body also for the job. If ever there was a Indian music video shot for ‘I am sexy and I know it’, Robert would definitely be asked to star in it.



Height: Maybe it’s the height, which woman will not like a man to look up to her even if it’s in the literal sense



Intelligence: It’s not every day that you come across a man with such acute intelligence that he can go from 50 to 300 crores in a span of 3 years and that also in an extremely risky business like real estate. I am sure Arvind Kejriwal was just calling it a scam because he was envious of Robert’s prowess in business



Prominence in the society: Women always find it very attractive when a man can gain easy access to all important places. It is so impressive that Robert is the only individual of India who is enjoying Security Free access to any Airport in the country…wowowow na?




I can go on and on bout Robert and I am sure it was because of his immense virtues that Priyanka Gandhi fell in love with him when they were 13 years old and continued to love him in spite of his ‘short’comings.

Its amazing how without even being a candidate, Robert has single handedly managed to create more buzz for Congress than most other politicians could…what more can a mother in law ask for in her Jamai.



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Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Confessions of a Pedophile



Okay before a cyber-security cell hunts me down I want to clarify I am NOT a Pedophile in its true sense. I just happen to like younger men ( not babies, not children, older boys maybe.... But younger men Definitely).

Since we have done away with the mandatory disclaimers (I guess these are in vogue these days considering no movie or even adverts start without them...unfortunately we all know Mukesh).. Any hoo..

Let's get down to listing what are the reasons that I can possibly have to like younger men... Since traditionalists would say that women mature faster, men are like wine - the older they get the better... I say, the one thing that defines men is that they are LAZY! How lazy varies from one to other. But  lazy...And we will all agree they get lazier by the day.

So what does lazy have anything to do with being a pedo...

The younger they are, the harder they try...And try hard they do to please you...
Be it wooing, going out of their way to demonstrate their love through cute gestures, hints, subtle gifts or not so subtle in your face bribing. But you have to give them points for trying and making the effort.

Now I am an opinionated person who wants everyone to hear me out as Gods own words... The sexist world though automatically discounts anything that women say... But suppose the woman is older than you, maybe more financially secure or not, but certainly more experienced and knows what she likes, slightly unorthodox... Wouldn't you just listen to her than fumble through all the wrong turns before you get it right. Coz you are acutely aware that you Don't know it all..

Old age is a @&#$£... And for men it brings - hair loss, beer bellies, and a couple of other ugly ailments. Well what can I say, I like my men with a head full of hair and a tucked in belly - kill me for it!

Anyways what I am saying is.. Younger men are way cuter, more fun and full of Life! They haven't been stricken with 'I have to get married' syndrome and don't immediately picture you bearing their unborn children, they live in the present and want to enjoy the journey... be it getting to the part of unborn children :P



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